I feel so tremendously blessed, not only for the quality and access to my higher education, but also for the cultural centers in which my educational institutions are grounded in. The CUNY City College of New York, which is my Undergraduate home, is based in Harlem. And I feel that my college experience was so wholesome, particularly from the things that Harlem has invested in me. As I pursue my Master’s in African Studies at Howard University, I find myself pausing in sheer amazement of this new experience of a Historically Black College. The program, the people, the art, the culture, the fashion, the intellect and brilliance that resides here in DC, particularly at Howard, is breathtaking. Every day I take it in just a little more…
Being the first one of the youngest in my immediate family to graduate from college has been more of an internal struggle than it has been a triumph for me. I have often felt the tension and the insincere, “I’m happy for you’s” at graduation and I have seen just how some folks would rather me not pursue my education and personal growth any further so I could remain in the place that they remain to be. I am grateful for a humbled spirit though and as much as I attempt to silence insecure and unfulfilled voices of others, I also get discouraged a bit by certain sentiments. One of the assumptions that I have experienced as an Afro-Caribbean woman living in America who is pursuing her higher education is that, because my head is in the books, it must not be able to be in the home as well. There is this sickening syndrome of “either, or” within my Caribbean family that stipulates that a woman could only either be formally educated in an institution or tremendously powerful within taking care of the home (tending to children, home, cooking…etc.) Therefore, one cannot be both. In that, I have often been made to feel that though I may be on a certain level academically, I am not on that level within my womanhood.
"I've yet to be on a campus where most women weren't worrying about some aspect of combining marriage, children, and a career. I've yet to find one where many men were worrying about the same thing." ~Gloria Steinem
As a woman, I have often felt that because I have pursued my education and chosen a divergent path for myself, as wonderful as that is deemed to be, I must lack the “essence” of what it means to be a real woman. I have internalized those sentiments and allowed myself to act as though they bother me less than they truly do. For example, in a Haitian household (and many African and other Caribbean households as well), if you, as a woman cannot make every traditional Haitian dish, you are almost illegitimate as an authentic woman…
Living on my own for the very first time in DC has already proven to be a learning experience. Next to my apartment complex is an International Super Market that particularly features foods from the Caribbean Islands. Today as I was walking down the aisles in the grocery store, I wanted to pick up every seemingly Haitian food that I have not necessarily cooked in the past but eaten at a family member’s house. I had to mentally pause myself and question why I felt the need to do this. I realized that I had something to prove to my Haitian self and my “womanhood.”
After that moment, I proceeded to grab some Papaya to make a Haitian styled smoothie, Potatoes to cultivate southern mashed potatoes, some Hispanic peppers etc… and this all served as a deeper metaphor than I had understood prior to this. I came to the recognition that it is perfectly fine to want to perfect what we are often taught to believe as our fundamental cultural entities, however, we must also not forget, especially living in the United States, that we are a displaced and multi-cultural people. Therefore, there is no reason to feel the need to confine to one culture or subculture—the ability for us to engage in our multi-cultures is not only beautiful but absolutely needed. And we cannot let conventional minds make us feel that we are limited to a particular scope.
Written By: Sophia S. Vilceus
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